Candilicious Kisses

Whew! I had a really nice birthday weekend. It has been tough to get back into the swing of things this week.

On Thursday night, I was able to Skype with my cousin and my grandmother, which was much needed. As most of you know, back home I usually talk to my grandma every Sunday. Since I arrived in Namibia at the end of December, I hadn’t been able to call her even once! So… as you might imagine, it was a great gift to be able to finally talk with her this week and hear her voice, finally.

On Friday, I got to talk with my dad and my sister, which also made me feel a bit closer to home. Hearing about normal things going on out there is always pleasant and refreshing! I received a lot of nice messages from friends back home, which I really appreciated. At school, I told my grade 8 English class that it was my birthday, so I used it as an opportunity to learn about what kids do here to celebrate their birthdays. I told them about how Americans eat a lot of cake, have a party, receive gifts, usually share a special meal, and have one candle for each year on their cake while singing the birthday song. Interestingly, their traditions are pretty similar- they eat cake, sing a birthday song in Oshikwanyama, use it as an excuse to have a party… except they also kill cows and “special chickens”, drink homemade beer, and oh, when it is your birthday, apparently it is YOU who is supposed to give out treats, not your friends giving them to you. I received a bunch of hilarious cards from some of my kids, here are some of my favorite lines from them:

“candilicious kisses on your smooth cheeks, stay blessed!”

“Your laughter and assistance that you gave us unconditionally is a lesson we will always treasure”

“Hi sweetiepie Jessilito, I wish you a happy birthday and hundreds of decades on the earth!”

Sweet, random, and awesome. Friday night we had a make-your-own ice cream sundae party at our house, which was just super. Ted and I made vegetarian chili, two cakes, sugar cookies, and homemade ice cream for our guests! We had about a dozen fellow volunteers come by- some of whom travelled between three and eight (yes, eight) hours to come and celebrate with us. I was feeling so special to see that some of them were willing to travel so far just for my party! Then I got to thinking about how some friends back home used to complain about me living “too far” away in NYC… these girls jumped on the opportunity to travel and come see all of us. Anyway, it was awesome. Some of our local friends came too, as well as a Peace Corp Volunteer who is working in the area. It was so nice to see everyone and catch up, as Ted and I hadn’t seen any of the other volunteers since we arrived at our site last month. Everyone camped out for the night, shared some laughs and some cider, and all in all, had a good time. I got some sweet gifts- red bell peppers ( I am too poor to buy them for myself, so one of the girls got me some!), a kombucha culture, and some South African wine!

Saturday we met up with everyone in Ongwediva, a small town outside of Oshakati (where we do our shopping each week). We went to a water park called Benny’s, which was oddly located in the middle of nowhere next to a shopping mall. They have a few outdoor bars, a pool, and a restaurant. We hung out there for most of the afternoon, and then things got interesting. At around five, Ted and I left to go and grab a bite to eat, as well as do our grocery shopping for the week ahead. We got a bunch of food at the supermarket, and found a pizza place (sort of like a pizza hut) to grab a pizza. As we were finishing eating, I took out my wallet to put aside money for the two cab rides we still had ahead of us. After a near panic attack, between the two of us, we had exactly enough for the ride with four Namibian dollars to spare (fifty cents at home). We had no debit cards or any other way of getting money, so this was a near disaster. The sun was starting to set and the weather was turning bad, so we hitched a ride to our hike point to get back to Omungwelume. We were just arriving as a black wall of a storm was coming in. In the distance, it looked like a wall of rain was about to hit us- well, it wasn’t rain. It turned out to be a giant sand storm. We had to just stand there with our groceries and wait it out. The wind and sand combination was so bad that you could hardly keep your eyes open. There were hardly any cars on the road, and there were about ten other people who were also impatiently waiting for a ride home. I was starting to think that for the first time, we were going to be ­­­­­­stranded in the middle of nowhere in the dark with no money.

Well, suddenly, a car pulled up really fast and a guy jumped out. He called for the two white people to come over and get in (hmmmm….) and to our pleasant surprise, it was one of my colleagues and his friends that just so happened to be passing by and heading back to our village. What a relief. So we get dropped off at the gate at our school’s property after dark, and the gate is locked. It is a “home weekend”, so none of the students are there. We are yelling, honking, waiting… and there is no guard to be found. We realize that the only way to get to our house is to climb the fence. Ted goes over first, and I pass him all of the groceries. I’m really not looking forward to climbing this thing, so I’m avoiding it and letting time pass. I’m literally half way over the fence when I hear someone calling for me to wait… and there comes the guard! Just in time to save me quite a lot of trouble and a broken leg or two.

Needless to say, we got home just fine. It was quite a hassle, though.

The rest of the weekend was quite calm, compared to the festivities of Friday night and the complications on Saturday.

The first signs of life have emerged in our garden bed, which has given me a lot of hope and motivation today. The fact that any seeds want to grow in this awful, hot and dry sand is amazing. So far, the zucchini have germinated! We are waiting on the beets, carrots, tomatoes, hot peppers, and melons, but hey, anything is amazing at this rate.

Things are okay at school, I am still having a lot of issues with kids just not understanding what the hell I'm talking about, talking while I'm talking... high school stuff I guess. I gave a quiz in my Geography class on Friday about clouds, for example. We have been studying clouds for more than a week, so I gave a wrap-up quiz to be sure that everyone is on task and keeping up with the material. Just clouds, what the types are, how we identify them, things like that. WELL, I get the quizzes back, and there are answers about parasites, math equations, and soil composition. No words. Sometimes, I just have no words. And that is where I'm at today.

 

Quarter Life Reflections

"Wow, I can't believe that you are willing to give up a year of your life to go and live in Namibia."

I can't tell you how many times I heard this before coming here in December. Give up: as in, you mean, I am erasing a year of my life that I could have otherwise had? As in, there is something else I should be doing? Give up, as in the value of this experience is not worth anything substantial?
At this point in time, I am feeling really thankful and fortunate to be right where I am. In saying that, I should mention that I have also been doing a lot of reflecting on this comment. How can one possibly measure the value of an experience such as the one I'm in the middle of? How can I measure the success of my time here?

Since I am starting a new year this week, I of course have been spending a lot of time thinking about where I have been, where I am now, and where I'm headed next. My time here in Namibia so far has been interesting. Every day, I am faced with enormous challenges, small successes, and if I'm lucky, a few moments of peace. I reflect constantly on whether or not the work I am doing is making any difference in the long run- is the impact that I will leave behind going to be sustainable? Am I really improving or assisting in the development of these kids, their community, or my school?

While my time here is focused on improving the lives of my learners through education, mentoring and companionship, I am beginning to realize just how much this job is changing me. I am learning, growing, and expanding in ways that I never could have imagined. I don't think I could find an experience of this magnitude back at home- every day I am pushed mentally and physically, my patience and empathy is tested, and I can only dream of the better person I might be if I keep working at this level for the whole year. The experience so far has been challenging for me- I am generally very hard on myself- usually super critical, a bit on the negative side, and I often act on emotion rather than rational thinking. My duties here are forcing me to think outside of my comfort zone. My kids' day depends on my mood. Their improvements depend on my passion and patience. The list can go on and on. I guess what I am trying to say is that my focus and determination will directly effect the people around me, more than ever.

I think I am settling in to the routine. Maybe my kids are starting to get used to my funny accent. Maybe the other residents in my village are starting to think of me as a part of the community, rather than a charity. I'm less surprised when we run out of water or have no power. I have to be hopeful. While every day throws me a new curveball, I now know that I can at least expect it.

On turning 25...
I always dreamed to live and serve abroad. I've always had a passion for people and finding ways to make their lives better. I always wanted to challenge myself in ways that most people are not interested in doing. Now that I am really here, really doing what I've wanted to... the feeling is overwhelming. Most days, I still don't believe that this is real life. The hardest part is not being able to share these moments with the people I love. While yes, I love to write, I am finding it impossible to capture the smells, sounds, size, and magnitude of the things around me. I wish I could bottle all of these things up and send them home!
I'm feeling really quite fortunate to have found a soulmate, friend, and companion in my lovely husband, Ted. While he is facing the same challenges, he manages to find patience to share with me. I know that had it not been for him, I probably would not be sitting here writing to you from Namibia. I'm so thankful to know that every day when I get home, he is waiting with open arms to talk through our day, share successes and failures, and of course, try to make me laugh. He's the best listener I know, and I'm excited to be sharing my new year as a Guggenheim.

My goal for the new year: to restore and rebuild my self-confidence. To honestly believe in my own capabilities and worth. To share as much love as I can, and to be more positive.

"LEARNING EXPANDS GREAT SOULS" is a Namibian proverb, the title of my blog, and my inspiration while serving here. While I was hired as a teacher, I know my greater purpose here is to be a learner- to find new passion, grow as a better human being, to find love, and gain the strength to keep moving forward and keep serving others in this big old world we live in. This journey is only the beginning...

A Day in the Life

Things are moving along pretty nicely here. Yes, my kids are still troublesome. Yes, the heat is still unbearable. But, it seems like I am adjusting to the flow of things and getting into a new "normal" routine.

Perhaps my life looks like one of glamour, luxury, and great fun based on the photos and comments I have been posting on Facebook. Granted, I am enjoying my days here, and I have found pleasure in things that are simple. I thought I should share with you a bit about my daily routine so that you can get a better idea of what REALLY is going on...

Here is a bit about what my usual day looks like:

5:00am- wake up.
5:30am- make instant coffee, x2.
6:00am- morning yoga, stretching, etc.
6:45am- shower and get dressed for work.
7:00am- breakfast!

At around 7:15, I will start walking to school. It usually takes me about 15 minutes to get there, mostly because it takes so long to greet everyone I pass on the way there. That, and walking through the deep patches of sand haha...

On Mondays and Fridays, the learners will host their morning devotion at 7:30am. This is where they will sing, dance, pray and make announcements to the school.

School begins promptly at 8:00am. The class periods at school are 45 minutes long, and run from until 2:15pm. There is a half hour long break from 11:00-11:30am. After school, learners remain on campus until 4:00pm to attend the study period. I usually hang out in the library during this time, helping kids with homework, english stuff, or just chatting and getting to know them.

During my off periods at school, you could also find me in the library. I do all of my grading, marking, lesson planning, and other work here. The staff room is just way too crowded for me to be productive, so it is nice to have some space here to get my work done.

After school, I will usually stop at one of the local shebeens for a cooldrink before heading home. Ted and I will pack our lunches for the next day, relax, enjoy some dinner, and usually take a walk when the sun is setting. There is a really nice sandy road that runs behind our house (away from the main road) so it is nice and quiet and we can chat about our day. People will usually be guiding their cattle home at this time, too, which is always amazing to watch.

The sun sets here around 8:00pm. It sounds so lame, but by the time the sun is setting, I am usually absolutely exhausted. At night, we like to read, maybe enjoy some South African wine, or maybe watch an episode of The Wire on our computer.

Things that are awesome:

1. It's guava season right now. In the afternoons, a woman with a huge basket of guavas on her head will walk past our house. I chase her down and buy as many as I can for less than $1US.
2. A decent bottle of South African wine here is about $3USD.
3. Braai-spiced everything. Braai spice is a mix of garlic, salt, chili, and some other BBQ flavors. It tastes good on just about everything.
4. The sunset. Every night it is different, beautiful, and so lovely.
5. The music here is super. Pop music, kids singing, whatever. It all sounds so good!
6. Getting letters, notes, and pictures from my learners!!!

Things that are not awesome:

1. Tofu does not exist here. Neither does good hot sauce. And the only lettuce is iceburg. Traveling 30k to get produce is also not so fun.
2. Being a spectacle sucks. Walking around, sometimes I feel like a toy doll on display or an exotic animal at the zoo. I hope that this novelty will soon fade, or I will just start caring less...
3. Instant coffee. I live in freaken Africa, which produces some of the most wonderful coffee in the world, and yet the best I can get here is Ricoffy. BARF.
4. Many of my kids have expressed that they feel like no matter how well they do in school or no matter how high their marks are, it doesn't matter, because they will be stuck in their village forever. This negativity (and harsh reality) makes motivating learners extremely difficult.
5. The heat, oh lordy, the heat. I have never felt anything like it. It is supposed to be the middle of the rainy season right now, and people are extremely worried since it has not rained at all since we have arrived. No rain means no harvest, which means the people of my village will be hungry and suffering. I really hope that we are not here to see this happen, and that the rains will come soon. This kind of drought will have a very hard impact on our community.

That's it for now, folks. I hope to be writing more this weekend, as Ted and I are talking about taking a weekend trip. Hopefully I will have some new photos/ witty words to share, soon.

Love to all of you from Omungwelume.

Oranges Without Seeds?

We are two weeks deep, and I am starting to feel a bit more like a real teacher. I have finally started getting into the routine of getting up at five every day before the sun comes up, reporting to school at seven thirty, and working from eight to three. By three in the afternoon, I am usually exhausted and really excited to be on my way home. My class schedule is nice- I teach several lessons every day between my three subjects, and spend the rest of my time planning, grading and tutoring in the library. While the library is nothing fancy, it has become my oasis every afternoon.

On Monday and Friday mornings before each day begins, one class section is responsible for hosting the morning devotion- a meeting place where all of the teachers and learners come together to start and end the week. The class usually sings a few songs and a dance, offers a prayer and says an official greeting to the school. Announcements are made, and the flag is raised and the whole school joins together to sing the school anthem, followed by the national anthem. I love listening to the kids sing all of their songs- traditional or national. They all seem to have a great talent for singing, which I am very envious of. Something I have been noticing is that the kids never receive praise for hosting a great devotion, and I don’t think they ever expect it. I often think of kids back home and how reliant they are on praise and positive reinforcement, but it appears that these kids are able to function on their own pride alone, which I appreciate.

In terms of teaching, this week was pretty rough. I was finally starting to make the tiniest bit of progress with my grade 8 English learners, when my school decided that they wanted to drop one section (there used to be four sections of about 25 learners each) and consolidate them into three larger sections instead. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, except that my school assigned me to pick up a class section that I had never met before, and another teacher would be taking my old class. So, new week, new challenge, new class. Let’s just say that I took many steps backwards this week starting over with these kids. I am struggling to figure out how I can possibly move forward with the syllabus, as most of my English learners can barely form a coherent written sentence. I have started to realize how far behind these kids are and I am starting to see just how much their lack of English education can put them at a disadvantage in the rest of their classes, too. If you can’t succeed in an English class, how can you possibly take a Geography class that is taught in English, too? Anyway, this is going to be a huge challenge- meeting their foundational needs while trying to work through a curriculum and syllabus that are lightyears ahead of the level they are currently at… I don’t even know where to begin. Most days, I feel pretty helpless. Everyone in my classes needs a whole lot of help- I just hope that I am able to offer them each something they need.

I have also begun to see that my learners don’t exactly treat me the way they treat their other teachers. I have had to stop my classes so many times this week and wait for kids to stop talking, fighting, etc. It is so interesting- they are too shy to answer questions in class, cover their faces and whisper practically when they do answer a question- yet they talk over me with the people sitting next to them. Maybe they are starting to think that I am just some cool white hippie lady and whatever. This idea just doesn’t fly in a class of 40 kids and only one of me. I had a long talk with my principal this week- I was getting fed up that the kids were either not doing their homework, or handing in really shitty, half-completed assignments. I can’t tell yet if this is a lack of respect, or if they are really just so not used to having an interactive classroom that they don’t know what to make of me. For example- this week, I had a teacher come up to me in between classes and ask “if I could possibly not use the board that period, because she just wrote notes all over it, and didn’t want to have to do it again tomorrow”. I wanted to vomit when I heard this. Teachers here tend to rely on the “I write this on the board, you write it in your notebook” method. No wonder why kids are embarrassed to speak in English or raise their voices/opinions in class. Many have never had to do this before. I am trying so hard to be patient and nurturing, as my goal for the year is to get each learner confident enough to do a report in front of the class.

Enough about all of that. Ted and I went to the talent show at his school last weekend, which was just awesome. All of the learners showed up to watch (it was held inside the cafeteria) and some of their teachers, too. The kids were so excited to sing, dance, and perform “R&B” acts, pretending to be The Dogg or the band PDK.

Other interesting things this week- I was sitting outside the library at school, eating my lunch, as I do every afternoon. One of my colleagues came to say hello, and was so shocked to find that I was eating a salad. When I told her that I don’t eat meat, of course, she was astonished. We had a conversation about why I don’t eat meat, how good the meat is here, and how she simply could not survive without a meat-heavy diet. I explained to her about the quality of the meat and poultry at home- how everything is pumped full of hormones and chemicals so that people can make more money. She reassured me that everything here is natural, local, and was probably killed that day or week for consumption. Let me get to my favorite part of the conversation- we talked a bit more about food and such, she told me about some of the vegetarian things people like to eat here (like porridge), and before she left, she said, “Can I ask you one question about the food in America?” yes… “is it true that people even eat oranges without seeds there?” I was embarrassed to say yes. She was so sad to hear that even our produce is terribly mutated, for better or for worse. Funny but true.

We went to a friend’s birthday party in Ongwediva on Friday night, which is about 40k away from our site. Since coming to Namibia, we have had no trouble at all with cabs or getting ripped off or anything of the sort. We have been told that cab drivers here all follow government-regulated prices for standard trips, so we usually don’t have to worry about negotiating, etc. We got in a cab, as usual, and hit the dusty dirt road to town. We were only about five minutes away from our destination, when our driver became confused about where we wanted to go, so he decided to pull off the road to ask an auto mechanic for some directions. When he asked the mechanic, he said it was a few more minutes down the road. The driver proceeded to tell us that it was too far, and that we had to get out and pay him for how far we had gone. In reality, our destination was only about 3k from where we stopped, but that is not the point of this story. Our cab fare should have been $17 each to get from our village to the first town, and another $9 each to get from that town to our current location. This guy tried to tell us that he wanted $100 for the trip we had just taken. Yep, for real. Luckily the guys working at the auto shop took our side, told the driver he was full of it, and told him to leave. Someone who was there waiting for their car to be fixed offered to drop us off at our friend’s house, which we gladly accepted.

The party was nice- it was family, friends, and some colleagues of the birthday girl. Everyone sat outside chatting, drinking and feasting. So I have told you many times about how Namibians love meat- let me try to explain this again. The grilling started at about 8:00, and went on for at least four hours- the last batch of meat was coming off the grill after midnight. Trays and trays and trays of different grilled meat just kept coming in shifts. Chicken, sausages, various cuts of beef- it was never ending. There was a ton of Tafel (the Namibian beer) and hard cider, which I have become a big fan of. They had a really nice cake, pasta salad, and grilled some fish especially for Ted and I, which was so nice. Everyone at the party was pretty kind- we couldn’t really participate in most of the conversations, as they were all speaking in Oshikwanyama, but we listened thoughtfully and enjoyed watching the stars come out. We pitched a tent and slept out back, as travelling by car at night here is very dangerous. Lots of people get killed here hitting cattle on unlit roads, or by drunk drivers (you can drive with open containers here).

We took care of our grocery shopping today, which is a long and tiring process. Apparently the first weekend of the month is the busiest shopping day- since everyone just got paid on Friday. This proved to be true today. The market was super busy today, and as if things aren’t slow moving enough, the crowds really add to the issue. The lines can be really long and slow moving, then, once you finally get through the line, you have to have your entire receipt checked, item by item, to make sure you aren’t stealing anything. Everything is a process.

Things to think about this week:

There is no such thing here as a place to get a coffee to go. It doesn’t exist. This is a very big problem.

Vocabulary:

Robots= traffic lights

Footing= walking, arriving on foot

Somehow= so-so, as in, my day has been somehow

Cooldrink= soda

Sweets= candies

In good news, we found veggie burgers at a different supermarket today. Still no tofu, though. On our agenda: we are trying to buy a goat. One to keep here at our house and eat our grass. If all goes well, we will have a new pet soon, we just have to convince the school to allow us to get one since we live on their property!

That’s it for now! I am going to attempt to make an angel food cake today without the proper pan and with a highly dysfunctional oven. Tomorrow, we may begin working on our garden. Happy weekend to all!