2012 in Review: To Be Better Than the Person You Were Yesterday

Before moving forward, I must not forget to be grateful and reflect on the year that I am leaving behind. I'd say that I have a whole lot to be thankful for, and that I learned quite a bit.
What did 2012 teach me? What was I able to capture and keep in my heart to bring with me on the journey ahead?

I was reminded that all things are possible if you find the power within yourself to keep moving forward. I know that we all have goals- we all set them, we all want to better ourselves, we all want to make a positive difference for others. Finding a way to overcome obstacles and hardships is a tough lesson learned, but a great one.

I was fortunate enough to feel this greatness when I finished by Bachelor's degree this year. What a bumpy, winding road my education took me on. Three schools, six years, and endless hours of excitement, disappointment, encouragement and tears. Walking at graduation was bittersweet- while I was so filled with pride and enthusiasm for the future, I was also filled with pain and hurt since my mom wasn't there to see me walk. While my heart was aching, I experienced one of the most unreal encounters, which will bring us to lesson #1:

My graduation ceremony was at the Meadowlands Stadium. A couple thousand graduates were walking, they all brought their friends, families and loved ones. Crowds. Lots and lots of crowds. I met up with my husband and my dad and sister to head back to the car to start making our way home. Out of nowhere, a woman called for my sister. We turned around, not recognizing anyone that could be looking for us. This woman approached, knew both my sister and I by name. Neither of us recognized her. She told us her name, and still, no memory of who she was. She started asking for my mom, Patty. We told her that our mom had passed more than a year ago. She was shocked, devastated and curious.

Long story short- it turns out that this woman, Donna, was a best friend of my mom's from her youth. They had fallen out of touch several years before, and hadn't seen eachother for quite a long time. Her oldest daughter was walking at graduation with me, which is how she ended up at the Meadowlands that day. She said she recognized features of our mom in both of us.

How did this woman find my sister and I in the crowd? How did she even recognize us after not seeing us for at least ten years? The whole thing just didn't make sense. While my sister and I were looking for answers, we came to one simple conclusion- our mom sent Donna to us that day to send a very special message- that she was indeed with us in times that we needed her the most. I don't consider myself a spiritual person, but I do believe that my mom staged that encounter.

Lesson #1: Be open to signs that you can't quite grasp- be willing to accept gifts that are not in material form, and believe that the people you love and care for always have your back.

Ted and I spent 2012 in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Brooklyn can be a dirty, unwelcoming place for some, and a peaceful, beautiful place for others. I saw both sides of the city during my time there, as I discussed in one of my previous blog posts. Perhaps lesson #2 is one that is more obvious, since you don't have to feel it, but rather, can see it. Bushwick and Williamsburg are some of the most polluted parts of the city- if my memory serves me right, they are technically a superfund site. Things should not want to grow in such pollution, but our little garden taught me quite a few things. While, granted, it wasn't the most bountiful or the most successful garden in our history, regardless- the fact that anything grew in such harsh conditions is pretty amazing.

Lesson #2: With time, patience and a little effort, beautiful things can grow in the most unforseen places. While yes, I am just talking about my vegetables, I think this message can be applied to a lot of things in life. With this mentality, and with the power of nourishment, we can help those around us to blossom into beautiful human spirits.

In June, I exchanged vows with my best friend. Ted and I have been together for more than five years now. We have been fortunate enough to travel and explore together, to challenge eachother, grow together, and most importantly, dream together (people often joke about the number of hours we spent staring at the world map hanging over our kitchen table). I am constantly inspired to do better and be a bigger person because of Ted. He shares the same passion for helping people as I have inside of me, and his encouragement, kindness, and huge heart always leave me feeling as though I can do anything I want to do, as long as I dedicate myself to whatever it is.

This special being is always teaching me things, always encouraging me to want more, always offering a listening ear when I need it. This expression of love is rare and beautiful, and I try to express my gratitude as best as I can and as often as possible. There are not enough ways to say thank you for all that he has done and will continue to do for me. Ted and I have had several discussions about love and how deep this feeling is, which brings me to lesson #3. When we ask eachother why it is that we love eachother, we usually agree that it is hard to describe. We can't quite put our finger on why we feel the way we do, but we understand that we share whatever this phenomenon is. Maybe there is such a thing as soulmates.

Lesson #3: Things I've learned about love: it all begins with respect. It grows with care. As we begin the next chapter of our life together in Namibia, I strongly belive that with the right amount of curiosity, sharing, communication, and understanding- we can go anywhere and do anything, together. What a beautiful thing it is to have someone to walk through life with.

While on the topic of love, have a look at a good friend of mine who has taught me so much- not through her words but through her actions. A friend who has made tremendous sacrifices for her son, who continues to keep moving forward despite difficult times and the odds not in her favor. This girl continues to inspire me, as she grows in more ways than I can count. Krista reminds me always about the beauty and power found in the gift of love.

Lastly, I have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and support shown to me by my family and friends. This has been a year of great change and excitement, and I am certain that without the encouragement from the people I love, I would not be where I am today. It might sound cheesy or cliche, but it is true.

I am reminded of how blessed I am each year at Walk MS, where my family and friends come out to support me and my loved ones in memory of my mom. I was given a tremendous hand in planning my wedding this year, and I was even thrown a surprise bridal shower (!!) of which I had no idea about. I was given priceless amounts of support when I broke the news of my acceptance to WorldTeach this September. Ted and I received open doors and hands and hearts when we needed places to stay this month. All of this was given to me without expectations for reciprocity or repayment. Where I am headed and where I am leaving behind is a reflection of what has been given to me by the people I care about.

Perhaps this brings me to my last lesson, lesson #4: Don't ever, ever, ever forget to show your gratitude. And, even more importantly, remember that the greatest gifts are not those of monetary value, nor ones that we can count or even hold in our hands. The greatest gifts are ones that are given without expecting anything in return- sharing time, showing support, offering a listening ear.

While great change lies ahead, and great things are resting behind me, I would like to remind my family and friends of how much I love them and how much I will miss them while I am away. I have been so fortunate to spend this last month sharing laughs, meals, and stories with so many people that mean so much to me. Thank you all for allowing me to grow as a human spirit- thank you for your nourishment, interest, and for inspiring me to keep moving forward. I will keep a little piece of each of you in my heart for the coming months and count on your positivity to keep me going during hard times. While most of the world might think I'm crazy, you guys have managed to remind me that with the right amount of courage, a bit of curiosity, and a little freedom, I can be and do anything my heart desires.

THANK YOU, and I LOVE YOU.

On the other side of fear lies freedom. Let us all remember this as we embark on the new year. All the best to you in the new year. May you find what your heart is looking for!